YOU WANNA MAKE HER SCREAM YESS!? TRY THIS

Morning beautiful people! Bet you guys had a fabulous night?.
  Errrrmmm.....*scratches head* what did I even want to say???...hmmm....OK,I feel some of you would have found it hard at one point or finding it hard presently to get a "YES" from a lady(like the mature ones will say,"I'm not a babe/a chick,I'm a lady" *side eyes*). Yes! They are ladies(that is if they know the meaning of the "lady" they call themselves...lol).     
  Well,the good news is I've brought u the best and unfailing lines you'll use in proposing to her and she won't be able to say NO cos you'll be amazed at the way you will hear her just scream "YES"!

The proposal speech(lol) goes thus >>>>

   My huge, happy hilarious heart, is
   tumbling tremendously,triumphantly
   with a lingering, lasting long live love
  for you.
  As I gaze into your bewildering.          beautious eyes and literally
 lonesomely lost in a dazzling delightful dream, in which your fair, felicitious, fanciful face, is ever present in a collocial, comprehensive  constellation.Will you be my sweet, smiley, soulful,satisfied spouse?

Just give her these lines and see if she won't scream YES!!!...and jump on you...hehehehe
     And did I forget to say this was the exact way ORAL ROBERTS proposed to his wife and she replied "Go and learn how to make simple sentences. When you do,you can come back to propose" LMAO!
Just try this kneeling with one knee and see if she won't give you a YES with tears in her eyes.....Thank me later *BBM talk to the hand* *doh*

I GIVE MYSELF AWAY

I give myself away.....so you can use me,
I give myself away *in William McDowell's voice*
Yaaaay!! weekend is here *dancing*..........
Sure you guys have a lotta plans for your weekend?*smiles*
Yeah! We are talking about the LION today, Yes the LION!
  "Do you know that the Lion didn't      campaign and wasn't voted for when it was made the king of the JUNGLE"?
  "Do you know it is not the biggest animal in the JUNGLE but is called the king of the JUNGLE"?
"Do you know that it is not the deadliest and most dangerous animal?(of course,there are more dangerous ones) but as soon as it surfaces,there is this fear on the face of any animal including humans that see it"
  "Another thing about them(LION's) is that they don't joke with their cubs(young lions)"
  They've got this unimaginable MECHANISM, BRAVERY and STRENGTH inside of them that no matter how big,large and huge that living thing is,the LION will face it(bravery) before it signals its other members if it sees it cannot conquer the prey alone.
  See,as humans, for us to be able to conquer any challenge or do anything in life,we have to first of all give ourselves to God(total giving). He is the LION of the tribe of Judah. Having a father who is a LION,what do u think you are? Do you think your father will leave you to face problems alone? He is the best confidant anyone can have,the most reliable shoulder anyone can lean on.
  The son of a LION is a LION and has the same characteristics as his father.
  But,you can't live the life of a LION or a KING on earth if you don't have God as your back up and he won't be there to back you up if you don't give yourself totally to HIM cos he doesn't go to where he wasn't invited.
Ponder!!!
Bless!

I'VE GOT A WORD FOR YOU

Its a beautiful Thursday morning here,
Too many things running thru my mind,
I've got many things to do but can't do them,
Not because I'm lazy but for factors I've got no power over.
People who brought me here have left me to myself *smiles*
Why am I not betrayed?
Well,there is time for everything cos "DELAY AIN'T DENIAL",
As anything that happens was meant to be for a specific REASON.
And that has been my consolation anytime I find myself thinking of things that have brought me down.
   I've come to realise in these few years of mine on earth that I need not think or ponder on things that have brought me down but dream and work towards the bright future ahead of me. There is this popular saying that "God won't give you a problem that's bigger than your faith". Since he'll be there with me to go thru hard times,"why should I fear"?
*sighs* this short piece might not be for you now but might work for you someday. Don't put your trust in man cos he won't stop being man.
  Trust God cos he is the one who remains faithful when everything fails. Don't lose hope when everything seems not to be working out. Of course,there is a reason for it not working out that time and don't forget that "He who watches over you doesn't sleep nor slumber". So,why are you depressed? Just commit all into his hands and do that which you ought to do and be happy. Don't forget if you kill yourself of unnecessary thinking,you won't be alive to enjoy what Christ has packaged for you.
  So,"suicide is not an option" and crying won't solve the problem. Just smile,laugh,dance,talk to God about it,eat,look beautiful and make yourself happy.
Cheers!!!

HOW TO SURVIVE QUICKSAND

While I was in MAPOLY one of the countless sad days of my life was hearing the news of some TACSFON exco members who got sucked up in a muddy death while on a prayer/Evangelism retreat. From what I heard the cause of this many death in just one day is the wrong answer to the right question. What can I do? The guy in the quicksand was panicking and trying to force his way out, his colleagues ask what can we do too and their answer was diving into the mud in an attempt to save a brother :'( , they all died!
God forbid but if you find yourself in this position you will survive if you can follow these guidelines.

1. The internet isn't just for social media and porn, when all is well check around for how to survive an incidence you read about, saw, or just thought up, this will help you answer the first question. "Now that it has happened, what can i do?"

2. Remove backpack, leave your heavy bag, remove heavy clothing. When it happens don't panic, panic makes you sink faster, and drains your strength, all it does is harm you so bone panic and ask yourself the golden question. "What can I do", proper following of step one will most probably help here.

3. If you find out the ground isn't firm under you gently walk close to a tree and stand on it's root to look around for firm ground.

4. If you've been sucked to the knee and you're alone, just begin to gently move one of your legs in a circular motion, this will generate some water to soften the ground, when you feel it's soft enough, pull gently, if you free a leg the other can be done in like manner.

5.If you are with some one, request for a thick rope, he holds one end and give you the other, ropes might not be readily available, but we can use a long strong stick too while victim is holding on, the lifesaver pulls  outside, if his strength can't do it, he can tie the rope to a tree urging the victim to tug at it and helping if victim gets tired.

6. When you've sunk to the waist, which shouldn't happen if you have've followed the steps above rightly, rest your back on the ground this will stop you from sinking further. As you lean back, gently try to bring your legs upwards. Be patient and do everything as if you are doing it in slow
motion. You’ve got all the time in the world here unless you act like you don’t
and move quickly; then your time on this
earth might be ending sooner rather than
later.

7. While doing all this pray, God listens.

Most people who die in quicksand do so
for only two reasons: number one, they
panic and thrash about causing them to
sink; number 2, they are afraid to move and stay there waiting for help that
never comes.
May God keep us all safe.

HEARTBREAKING: LETTER FROM MY BFF

See what Anti-Gay law has caused me now*crying*....my BFF(Best Friend Forever) sent me this and it left me sobbing>>>>>

Due to the new law banning same sex eelationships, please note that I shall no longer be able to do the following:

1. Address you as dearie, sweetie, my lovie, girlfriend mi, etc. These names may be misconstrued by some overzealous law enforcerment olopa. Henceforth, I shall address you by name....Esther,linda Bunmii, yemi etc

2. I shall no longer hug, blow kisses, hold hands, or engage in any body contact with you. If we're caught, the "evidence" would be worse than calling you pet names. Only handshakes and eyebrow wiggles are now allowed.
I shall also cease to send smileys like hearts, kisses, hugs. Do not send them to me either or I shall have to unfriend you to guarantee my continued freedom.

3. Dancing together at parties is now forbidden.
If you see me especially in public places, please refrain from excitedly waving at me. A Queen Elizabeth happiness-deficient wave will do. Anything else and I will summarily ignore you.

4. In the event that you want to proclaim your love for me, please do well to add the word "agape" at the end. Not adding this word will bring our wonderful friendship to a summary end. I'm saying this because, I LOVE YOU AGAPELY and do not want us in the women's section of Kirikiri Maximum.

5. It is now dangerous for us to share bathroom time. Please wait until I'm through or you can find somewhere else to have your bath.
Girls Night Out and sleepovers are hereon banned. Stay in your house so we can still have our liberty.
If you wish to visit me and I have no guest room, please bring along your mattress and room divider.

No more cash gifts; they may think I'm giving you money as a lover would.
No more lifts; endure the sun or rain or buy your car.

I trust you will abide by these new resolutions. Fourteen years is a long time and I am not Mandela.
Thank you for cooperating. I love you agapely.

Your BFF.

This letter left me rolling on the floor....ROTFLMAO

NIGERIAN ISLAMIC COURT TRIES GAY SUSPECTS IN BAUCHI

An Islamic court in Nigeria's northern state of Bauchi has put on trial 11 Muslim men accused of being homosexuals in violation of their religion, a religious leader has told the BBC.

A 12th person arrested - a Christian - would be tried under secular law, a BBC reporter says.

Under Islamic law, a person can be sentenced to death by stoning if convicted of homosexuality.

It is also illegal to have gay sex in Nigeria, according to its secular laws.

Earlier this month, President Goodluck Jonathan signed a parliamentary bill which tightens laws against homosexuals, banning same-sex marriages, gay groups and shows of same-sex public affection.

The new legislation applies across Nigeria, affecting all citizens.

Most states in the predominantly Muslim north of Nigeria have adopted Islamic law, known as Sharia, since the end of military rule in 1999.

'Tortured'

Nigeria is a deeply conservative country, with an influential Christian evangelical movement in the south and strong support for Islamic law among many Muslims in the north.

Hostility towards gay people has escalated since parliament debated the Same-Sex Marriage Prohibition Act last year, Dorothy Aken'Ova, a rights activist with the Nigeria-based International Centre for Reproductive Health and Sexual Rights, told the BBC.

She said that she was aware of 38 people being arrested in Bauchi state last month, and was trying to confirm reports of more arrests in both the north and south of Nigeria since the new law was approved.

"What this act is saying is that they [gay people] do not deserve to exist," she told the BBC's Focus on Africa radio programme.

"It is heartbreaking that we have come to this point in Nigeria."

Jibrin Danlami Hassan, the commissioner of Bauchi state's Sharia Commission, said the alleged homosexuals were arrested by residents of Bauchi city.

They were handed to the Islamic police force, which interrogated them, he said.

"They accept that they are doing that dirty game," Mr Hassan said.

Ms Aken'Ova said some of those arrested had been beaten up and tortured, but Mr Hassan denied this.

The BBC's Ishaq Khalid in Bauchi says the Sharia Commission confirmed to him that a Christian had been arrested with the 11 Muslims, and would be tried in a "conventional court".

The Muslims could be sentenced to death by stoning if they are convicted, but the court would decide, Mr Hassan said.

Several stoning sentences have been handed down by Sharia courts in northern Nigeria since 1999; however, none have so far been carried out.

The UK, US and UN human rights chief Navi Pillay have condemned Nigeria's Same-Sex Marriage Prohibition Act as discriminatory and draconian.

Mr Hassan said told the BBC he was "happy" that Mr Jonathan had signed it into law, despite threats by Western powers to cut aid to Nigeria.

"The threat they are doing cannot make us change our religion," he said.

Culled from BBC NEWS

ANTI GAY LAW-WHAT'S YOUR TAKE ON IT?

    Hmmmm....so we have huge gay fans and supporters in Nigeria? *opens mouth in surprise*. Since the anti gay bill was signed into the Nigerian law accompanied with the 14years imprisonment,it has attracted a lot of people's attention and their opinions have been amazing. Some even go as far as insulting the President for signing it. The international response/comments have been amazing as they outrightly condemned his decision. Ko kan yin ooo...I dunno why they are using Panadol for our headache please face your respective countries and leave us alone at once!
    If my opinion was to be sampled,I'll say President Jonathan did no wrong and just did what any rational man should do plus the imprisonment thing....hehehe it will make those who fear prison,retrace their steps. C'mon! where did women get it wrong that men no longer see them as attractive and have decided to go after themselves? Or ladies,did the men say they are tired of your honeypots? Why then did you think of going after your fellow woman? Kilo sele(what happened)?
 E be like say una don forget wetin God do Sodom and Gomorrah abi? If you don't even care what people will say,don't you fear God? You all have given yourselves out to reprobate minds that its what God frowns at you have decided to indulge in. Its insane peeps,it is!

Lemme just stop this my ranting here and give you guys room to speak up and tell what you feel about the ANTI-GAY marriage(homosexualism and lesbianism)law while I *stroll down the street to get bread*hehehehe

LIKE SERIOUSLY? MAN SUES UNILEVER BECAUSE CLOSE-UP TOOTHPASTE REFUSED TO ATTRACT LADIES ACCORDING TO THE ADVERT

Things like this happen only in more developed countries and it appears that some Nigerians have started knowing consumer rights now..
In what could prove to be a major marketing and legal embarrassment for Unilever Nigeria Limited (UNL), a 26-year-old man has filed a case against the company, which owns the Close Up toothpaste brand, for ‘cheating’ and causing him ‘mental suffering’.

The plaintiff has cited his failure to attract any girl at all even though he’s been using Close-Up toothpaste for over seven years now. Close-Up advertisements suggest that the product helps men in instantly attracting women by letting their breaths out.

Anthony Olatunfe, the petitioner, also surrendered all his used, unused and half-used Close-Up tubes to the court, and demanded a laboratory test of the products. Anthony was pushed to take this step when his female boss slapped his face when he tried to kiss her after brushing his teeth with the Close-Up toothpaste.

     “Where is the Close-Up effect? I’ve been    waiting for it for over seven years. Right from my college to now in my office, no girl ever agreed to even go out for a tea or coffee with me, even though I’m sure they could smell my breath. I always brush my teeth with so much close up gel to make sure the girls get turned on by my fresh breath as they usually show on TV. “

Anthony claims that he had been using the toothpaste as per the company’s instructions even since he first bought them. He argued that if he couldn't experience the Close-Up effect despite using the product as directed, either the company was making false claims or selling fake products.
     “I had always stored them in cool and dry place, and kept them away from direct light or heat. I brushed my teeth morning and night. I did everything they instructed. I even beat up my 5-year-old nephew for coming near my toothpaste, as they had instructed to keep away from children’s reach. And yet, all I get is a slap from my boss.” 
Anthony expressed his frustration.

Unilever has officially declined to comment on the case citing the subject to be sub judice, but our sources inform that the company is worried over the possible outcomes of the case. The company might argue that Anthony was hopelessly unattractive and unintelligent and didn't possess the bare minimum requirements for the Close-Up effect to take place. Officially Unilever has not issued any statement, but legal experts believe that they could have tough time convincing the court.

“Unilever might be tempted to argue that Anthony is too ugly to attract a girl, but it is very risky. There is no data to substantiate the supposition that unattractive and unintelligent men don’t attract women. In fact some of the best looking women have been known to marry and date absolutely unattractive guys. I’d suggest that the company settles this issue out of court.” Barrister Festus Keyamo said

Osun Defender

QUESTION OF THE DAY: WHAT WILL YOU DO IF YOU FIND YOURSELF IN THIS SITUATION????

*sighs* *deep breath* This is seriously serious! I saw this somewhere and decided to put it up here to sample your opinions on this if you happened to be the one in question(either the man or the woman).
  It goes thus....A wife suspected her husband to be cheating on her with their maid and decided to set a trap for him in order to clear her doubts. She started by sending the maid to the village for a weekend without informing the husband. Then night came and the husband gave the same excuse as he normally does "Honey,I want to go watch wrestling in the the sitting room"...she said "okay". Not quite long,she tip toed and made her way  into the maid's room and laid down on the bed naked with the lights off. He opened the door,made his way into the maid's  room and went straight to business without saying a word. After the fifth round,he requested for more,it was then she shut him up and said "Weldone ! I got you. So,you go this long and at the second round with me,you complain that you are tired"?. Then he said " Madam abeg no vex! I no know say na you".
  "Mogbeeeeeee" the woman shouted and her husband rushed in,switched on the light and was dumbfounded cos he couldn't  ask what happened as he already met them naked.
If you were the man what will you do? And if you were the woman what will you do?

HEALTH FACTS-BRAIN DAMAGING HABITS

Morning peeps! Its a bright saturday morning and bet u guys are hitting the gym soon cos I've gotten my kit and leaving for the gym soon but had to drop this here before I leave. Hehehehe....(lie of life).Anyways,I have a couple of health/brain damaging habits for you this this morning which we have to correct and of course,I'm sure we'll be guilty of at least one of these and for those who know me well,they know for sure that I'm guilty of No(_).....lol. U don't need to know! Read and pleeeeaaase effect the change ASAP as I would effect mine too.
Nkan to ba ti mu opolo ti mu gbogbo ara(anything that affects the brain,has affected the whole body)-Yoruba fathers.

1. People who do not take breakfast are going to have a lower bloodsugar level.This leads to an insufficient supply of nutrients to the brain causing brain degeneration. What??? *opens mouth wide*
2 . Over eating causes hardening of the brain arteries, leading to a decrease in mental power. Eyin alatenuje se e ti n gbo??? (Gluttons can u hear??? Gluttony is a disease...hehehe)
3. Smoking causes multiple brain shrinkage and may lead to Alzheimer's disease. Smokers I believe you have seen the name of the disease? OK,on to the NEXT
4. High sugar consumption will interrupt the absorption of proteins and nutrients causing malnutrition and may interfere with brain development. Sugar na JEDI*In 2face's voice* its not JEDI alone but brain damage too....Hmmm
5. Air Pollution-The brain is the largest oxygen consumer in our body. Inhaling polluted air decreases the supply of oxygen to the brain, bringing about a decrease in brain efficiency. As from today,I'll be covering my nose when I fart....What?! Did I just say that I fart? OMG!*runs away*
6 . Sleep Deprivation-Sleep allows our brain to rest..Long term deprivation from sleep will accelerate the death of brain cells....Jeez! That's something
7. Head covered while sleeping-Sleeping with the head covered increases the concentration of carbondioxide and decrease concentration of oxygen that may lead to brain damaging effects. OMG! I won't do that again
8. Working your brain out during illness or studying with sickness may lead to a decrease and ineffectiveness of the brain as well as damage to the brain. Hmmmm...heard that? PS: To the students reading this *alaye lo n gba B.Sc*(its a living soul that obtains B.Sc certificate)-UNAD slang hehehe #iREPmySchool
9. Reasonable thinking and not over thinking is the best way to train our brain and keep it effective. Lack  of brain stimulating thoughts may cause brain shrinkage. Yeepa! Eyin a lai nironu see n gbo?-Those of you who don't make use of your brains well,have you heard?
10. Having Intellectual conversations will promote the efficiency of the brain. GBAM! Heard that?
Yeah! Thanks for stopping by and I'm sure you've seen where and how you've been damaging your brain ignorantly? Please,effect the change ASAP and have a fun filled weekend. OK,bye

A MUST READ-LEARN FROM MY EXPERIENCE

Hi friends,this happened to me yesternite and I had no choice but share with you so that you will learn from my experience and be very careful and vigilant.

The two of them were huge and giant
They came into my room last
night,
I was sleeping when I heard
their sound as they entered,
I quickly woke up and one of
them came towards me to attack
me,
I had a weapon in my room and I
had no choice but to use it in
defending myself,
I quickly struck one with it and he fell on the floor.
The second one ran towards me and
we wrestled,
Is this really happening to me
today?
I thought to myself within half a
second,
This one was more wiser than
the one lying on the floor.
My mum was in the other room
hearing the chaotic sound that
was emerging from my room,
I'm sure she would have been wondering that what was wrong with me?
Finally I succeeded with the second one,
I looked at my hands and I was
stained with blood,
I looked at them on the floor and
I saw one still moving......
I struck it again in anger and said;
"Die you fools"!!!
They were TWO GIANT
MOSQUITOES THAT WANTED TO
SUCK MY BLOOD.
COULD YOU JUST IMAGINE?
*BBM big smile* I'm sure you feel like kissing my cheek with a slap now....lol. Ema binu(don't be mad at me); I just thought I should give you something to read this afternoon

WHAT???? SOUTH AFRICAN CHURCH WHERE MEMBERS FEED ON GRASS LIKE ANIMALS

Do u believe the scripture that says ''Man shall not live by bread alone''?
That is exactly what you are about to read.
Its happening live in South Africa either as a joke or for real.

RABONNI CENTER MINISTRIES is a South African church at  Garankuwa TUT campus in Pretoria and the pastor is alleged to have his members to eat grass. 

The name of the pastor is Pastor Lesego Daniel. The church has a closed group on Facbook with the name Rabboni Centre Ministries. 

The pictures below were posted on Facebook and Twitter. The group is only accessible by its members as efforts to check the page is not possible.

According to someone who claims to be privy to this via twitter the pastor does this while trying to prove a point that humans can be controlled by the spirit of God and can survive on whatever they choose to eat.

As they eat, they are kicked and stepped upon and are said to be dead to touch during the ordeal. 

See these handles @ClaysonMonyela and @ah_qu_uh  on twitter for more info. The pastor himself is reportedly on twitter as @rabbonitv (Pastor Lesego Daniel).

Nawa oooo....hmmm mewa n sele (like my Yoruba brothers will say) things are happening andthere are a lot of false teachers and doctrines everywhere. Please,we have to be careful and have direct communication with God and stop being pastor/prophet/bishop worshippers.

SEE HOW BAKER RUINS BRIDE'S ENGAGEMENT

Haba! This is wickedness na..lol
Read this funny report by Daily mail
A bride-to be had an unexpected surprise at her engagement party when she opened up her cake to find she had been sent a dessert in the shape of faeces.
Micaela Harris, 24, of Invercargill, New Zealand ordered an extra cake for her engagement party, but after a disagreement between her sister and the cake maker, the result left a bad taste.
The baker, Emma McDonald, is said to have become annoyed at Harris’s sister for not specifying what type of cake she wanted, and sent her a pile of ‘chocolate poo’ with a flag stuck in it, telling the party guests to ‘eat shit". Pic below

Ms McDonald, who runs Oh Cakes, claims Ms Harris’s sister ‘got what she deserved’ for not specifying what she wanted other than ‘chocolate’.‘I have no regrets at all about what I did. I feel she got what she deserved,’ 
A family member said 
    "The cake was for an engagement party and this woman is not remorseful at all, which is disappointing,’It was wrapped up in a box, so it was done deliberately as a nasty surprise. It was a disgraceful thing to do".

21-YEAR OLD FINAL YEAR STUDENT OF BENUE STATE UNIVERSITY DIES MYSTERIOUSLY

A 21-year-old final year female student of the Benue State University, BSU, Joan Adaaku by name, has been reportedly found dead in a hotel room located in the heart of Makurdi, Benue State capital.

Report gathered from sources who said that the Economics undergraduate had checked into Savannah Guest House at about 7 a.m after paying N2,000 for a room. According to the report, "She actually
arrived the hotel alone and after signing some check-in formalities she entered the room and locked herself up.

It was reported that she never came out of her room again;either to order for food or any other thing. So, at exactly 6 p.m, a room attendant knocked on her door to find out if she was interested in being attended to by room service.

Her silence aroused suspicion as the room attendant, who repeated his call to the room at 8pm without reply, alerted the manager on duty.

It was at this point the management alerted the Police who moved in and broke into the room only to discover the lifeless body of the lady in a position that suggested she was making a call before she mysteriously died.

The deceased had on her a small purse which contained a Bible, a Rosary and the sum of N8,200. A bottle of water and a bottle of soft drink were also discovered in the room.

The hotel management who who later contacted the Benue State Police Public Relations Officer and Deputy Superintendent, Daniel Ezeala who confirmed the incident said investigation into the matter had commenced as the cause of her death is yet to be revealed.

SOMETHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT LIFE

A mouse looked through the crack in
the wall to see the farmer and his wife
open a package.
“What food might this contain?” the
mouse wondered. He was devastated
to discover it was a mousetrap.
Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse
proclaimed the warning: “There is
mousetrap in the house! There is a
mousetrap in the house!”
The chicken clucked and scratched,
raised her head and said “Mr. Mouse, I
can tell this is a grave concern to you,
but it is of no consequence to me. I
cannot be bothered by it.”
The mouse turned to the pig and told
him “There is a mousetrap in the
house! There is a mousetrap in the
house!” The pig sympathized, but said
“I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse, but
there is nothing I can do about it but
pray. Be assured you are in my
prayers.”
The mouse turned to the cow and said
“There is a mousetrap in the house!
There is a Mousetrap in the house!”
The cow said “Wow, Mr. Mouse. I’m
sorry for you, but it’s no skin off my
nose.”
o, the mouse returned to the house,
head down and dejected, to face the
farmer’s mousetrap alone.
That very night a sound was heard
throughout the house – like the sound
of a mousetrap catching its prey. The
farmer’s wife rushed to see what was
caught. In the darkness, she did not
see it was a venomous snake whose
tail the trap had caught. The snake bit
the farmer’s wife.
The farmer rushed her to the hospital
and she returned home with a fever.
Everyone knows you treat a fever with
fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took
his hatchet to the farmyard for the
soup’s main ingredient.
But his wife’s sickness continued,so
friends and neighbors came to sit with
her around the clock. To feed them,
the farmer butchered the pig. The
farmer’s wife did not get well; she
died. So many! people came for her
funeral, the farmer had the cow
slaughtered to provide enough meat
for all of them.
The mouse looked upon it all from his
crack in the wall with great sadness.
So, the next time you hear someone is
facing a problem and think it doesn’t
concern you, remember: when one of
us is threatened, we are all at risk. We
are all involved in this journey called
LIFE
Have a lovely day!!!

SOME OF THE MANY REASONS WHY MEN CHEAT

   The issue of men going out of their matrimonial homes to do things against the vows and oaths they took at the church and  registry respectively is alarming these days and some people even go as far as patting such men on the backs and advice them to ride on leaving the wife and children of these men in mess.
   Well,from my own point of view,I'll say the biggest problem I've noticed most men have is that they are never contended with what they have no matter how beautiful and good what they have at home(wife) is,they will still go out for other women/ladies and they don't have discipline cos staying faithful requires a lotta discipline.

   The second problem is friends(evil companion corrupts good manners). Friends men mingle with these days is a major cause of their failed homes.

   Most men cheat or go after other ladies because their wives have turned them to babies at home(always dictating for her husband) at least let him make a decision for once and help him make it stand in the home. Remember, the man is the head of the home *note this ladies/women in the house*

  The wife's fashion sense is another factor that drive most men out of their homes to look for beautiful looking ladies who take good care of their bodies and pay attention to their looks. Some women loose their focus on their fashion life believing after all I'm married,who is looking at me or who am I looking good for? I don't have time jo. And this makes some men forget that they even have wives at home because they are not attractive.
Advice for women out there>>>Always look good(not necessary u look like a drag queen) but u know ur husband's taste, look sweet, cut down unnecessary fat where and when necessary. Wear a different look once in a while by looking smoking hawt.

   Nagging women also pursue their husbands out of their homes. Little nagging is healthy which should happen occasionally when necessary but shouldn't be an habit. "Patience is a priceless virtue" most women are not patient enough with their husbands and frequent nagging drives men nuts.

   Food! Yeah food! It is that important. My friend Tunde used to say something. He'll say "The easiest route to a man's heart,is through his belly"...lol. That's a funny one,tho but its the truth. Most men find it frustrating when they get home and they don't get food to eat on time. Not as a result of their inability to provide but for the fact that their wives are either corporate firm workers or are just lazy that they didn't prepare the food early enough.

   Then the area of love making is another major factor. Lovemaking should be fun and not a routine or norm, it should be regular and adventurous and shouldn't be the boring bed or bedroom thing. C'mon! Is the bedroom the only place in the house? What happened to the kitchen,bathroom, sittingroom and even the backyard? lol. Most women don't take the bed so important thereby,making their husbands get bored and they go out of the home to look for more exciting sexual partners. Not too good,tho

  Men of nowadays don't take their altars serious. "A home where God is not reigning,the devil is there seated comfortably to ruin". They don't do much of praying,they feel the woman is the one that should do the whole praying while they are working. No! It is an agreement;the man should join the woman in prayers to keep the family together and to keep the devil away.

   Lastly,some men are so childish and temperamental that at the slightest quarrels,they start calling family members and friends and u know we have people with different opinions who also apply different approaches to different things. The man might all of a sudden start taking to their advises and most likely might be the wrong advises which will eventually result to them cheating on their wives and ruin their homes. In other words,men should be understanding and patient enough to solve their family matters behind closed doors without involving a third party.

*sighs* I'm tired already sef. Men and their wahala! lol. Well,from my inference of what I've read and things I've seen go wrong with many families, these are some of the many factors I've deduced from  the reasons why men cheat on their wives.

MEET OUR "Celeb of the week"

First of all,Introduction! *in Olamide's voice* hehehehe... Meet our "Celeb of the week"

BRIEF INTRODUCTION
His name: Owoade Akinade Matthew.
Akinade celebrates his birthday every 7th day of the last month of the year, he's in his early twenties, hardworking and cool dude, talented writer, lyricist, song writer, poet, singer and a Network Engineer. He is one good writer who pens down mysteries from his deepest thoughts on paper. And has done a lotta writing ranging from fictions to poems to analogies and inspirational write ups.
   Lest i forget,he has a lotta quotes he constructed. I've got some of them here and I feel sharing them with you guys won't be a bad idea as they might just affect a life out there positively (who knows who is reading)? 

Some of his numerous quotes below...

   If you run away from risks because you
hate failure, then you can't run away from
being a failure. -Akinade™

   If you won't start thinking, you will soon
start shrinking, and if you still won't
start thinking, you will soon start stinking.
-Akinade™

   Like a candle, the more you speak the less you become, but imagine a candle that replenises/remodels itself as it burns, "Wonderful!" You think? That's what people will say of you if you read as much as you talk. -Akinade™

   One of the biggest paradoxes on earth is that the costliest weapon is the clumsiest, it's name is violence. - Akinade™

   Challenges in life can spur you up to becoming a great doctor or draw you down to being a mere conductor, it's a game of choice. - Akinade™

   You never know where you are as UP until you fall into a pit - Akinade™

   If you know what I've been through,you'll pity me but if you know where I'm going you'll envy me - Akinade™

   Give God the best, not the rest, give Him what is right, not what is left. - Akinade™

Well,I'll stop here for now and I hope we have picked or learnt one or two things? To read more of his poems and write ups,kindly check Nubian Herald's blog out on Google. The name    "Nubian" sounds familiar right? Yes, Beautiful Nubia(Nigerian contemporary and folk roots singer) is one of his role models. So,I guess that was where he got the name from.
Yeah! Thanks for stopping by,have a fun filled week.

A photo of him below>>>>>
                          

HILARIOUS LOVE LETTER WRITTEN BY A NIGERIAN GUY TO HIS FUTURE WIFE...LOL

Hey wifey!
I have often wondered how life with you would be.I often imagine how we will look together.

To start with, I strongly believe you are a daughter of Zion who is very much in love with the Father?
You have to love Him more than you love me.
See, that is a necessity. We would together study the word, pray and teach others how to live according to the dictates of the Bible. We would build a home whose foundation is Christ the Lord. And with that settled, we can move to the other less important things.
Jeez, I get frightened sometimes about the many responsibilities that come with marriage.
Wifey,

I hope you don’t use excessive make-up because I am such a fan of the natural not the ‘pow-tural’?
Feel free to make yourself up, and all you ladies too, but do be moderate.
If you have been using excessive make up before now, please, it’s time to change your ways. At least, for our love’s sake.
Now, I would not particularly say that I am a romantic but I know I’ll try. I’d make you happy, you’d see.

Most importantly,I trust that you are a virgin?
In all senses oh, (Because they say there are several virgins who have…)
I know how difficult staying a virgin is, in these times but I also know it’s not impossible.
Perhaps, I would make you a very expensive Award or Certificate of “Virginity” or “Honour” to let you know how grateful I am. I’m very serious oh.

People get married these days and can’t keep to their vows.
That gets at me a lot, I must tell you.
I don’t ever want to have any reason to even think about, not to mention actually divorcing you.
It almost scares the life out of me when I see couples separated only just after six months or one year of marriage.
It makes marriage seem like one helluva mountain to climb. I trust ours would be amazing. I now joyfully look forward to it!

Er, I hope you like football?
Or you at least won’t mind my watching it attentively while you want to do other things.
I really hope you hate African Magic as much as I do.
If you love Arsenal, that makes it perfect for us but if you don’t, well, I’m okay, as long as it’s not Chelsea you love.

I don’t like Chelsea an inch (Anyway, it doesn’t matter, Love covers a multitude of sins).
I have gotten pretty frustrated with Arsene Wenger in the past, so if you hear me complain about him in the future, just let me do that or you may comfort me.
Arsenal has taught me an important lesson: how to be patient with the people or things you love when they start acting up.
Sure I should be able to apply this to ‘us’.
I intend to visit the Emirate stadium one of these days, so if you see me preparing for that trip, please kindly support me and let’s buy that Arsenal ticket together.
And mind you, Arsenal’s ticket is the most expensive in English football (just thought you should know. *winks)

Dear wife, I love good music especially gospel music with really good beats and instrumentals.
I plan to sing a whole lot around the house, I know you won’t mind.
If my voice is croaky, just listen to me sing all the same, will you? (Now, that’s my darling).
And peradventure you also love to sing, I will gladly serve as your back up singer.
I presently love music from Casting Crown, Hilsong, Nathaniel Bassey, Matt Redman, Warren Barfield, Michael W. Smith and a few others. I don’t fancy those Nigerian artists who make a lot of noise and refer to it as music.
They irritate my ears and get on my nerves. There are few exceptional ones though.

You should know, I had it rough (as many have) while growing up.
 It was not much fun without a mother’s care.
And that’s why I respect and appreciate all who came to become parents to myself and my siblings.
I also hold my siblings in high regard and I believe that you would too once you get to know them.
I believe you have a wonderful family and I promise to respect them to the utmost.

I trust that your friends are wonderful ladies; full of ambition and well brought up?
Your friends and family determine how much of a success our marriage will be; this is because here in Nigeria, marriage is not only a union between two consenting adults but also between two consenting families, alongside the merging of family history, etc. We’ll get there.

As I was saying, I had it pretty rough while growing up and I have vowed that with the help of God, our children will not pass through such.
No one should. Those kids will have the best that we can give them: love, discipline, education, good heritage and legacy and we will marry them off well. Can’t wait for that last part, haha. I am an advocate of not sparing the rod so they shall be spanked when its absolutely necessary but not so it becomes an everyday event. (God forbid that its necessary to do so daily. Whew! Kids.) 

I sincerely hope, dear wife, that I’m able to misbehave in your presence;  
I don’t want to be ‘forming’ up and down when I am with you. I should be able to spill water or wine while eating, fart when I can’t hold it, and speak bad grammar, belch at dinner (I know it’s bad etiquette and I don’t usually do it but who knows?).
Be certain I won’t do these ‘stupidly awkward things in public though. It is in the comfort of our home that such will happen, so relax.

Sweetheart, please follow your dreams, have your personal ambition and pursue it with all that God has given.
Supporting you, encouraging and urging you on I will do. Its my life purpose to do that anyway. Don’t be among the ladies who think only the man must be at the forefront. I don’t mind if you are more successful, popular or richer as long as I remain the love of your life.
The vision I have got from the Father for the future is bigger, much bigger than I; and I can’t wait to tell you all of it.

I think about you often, hence this letter.
I hope you’re well and safe wherever you are now. God’s peace be with you.
Hope to write you another letter soon.

Love,
Oluwatosin.

This is one HILARIOUS love piece I've read in a while....lol

STRANGE-TRUE LIFE STORY OF HOW A 26-YEAR OLD MAN LOST HIS KIDNEY

Hi guys, stumbled on this true and strange piece somewhere and decided to share with you....It's touching and shocking and I hope we all learn from it.

I'm 26 years old and last year after graduating from one of the Polytechnics in Nigeria, I couldn't get a job.I needed to travel out of the country to better my life of that of my family.I planned on going to Turkey but fell into the hands of dupes who gave me fake documents and I was thrown out of the Turkish embassy during my interview and almost got arrested.
Standing outside, I met an old acquaintance,a  young guy I met through a mutual friend. I found myself telling him about my plight and how I had been duped into paying for fake documents.I told him how my dad sold his plot of land to ensure I traveled.How was I going to tell them their money went down the drain?
He then told me the best thing was to tell them I got the visa , so when my dad sends money for my flight ticket, I use it to go to Malaysia.He said he had an agent who would help me and also give me a job once I get there.He said several guys had gone to Malaysia too.

  I told my excited parents that I got the Visa and would need money for my flight.  I raised 600 thousand naira which was sent to the agent I had never met and was given a 1 month visa . I got to Malaysia expecting to see the agent but never did. It was 3 weeks, no job,and paying my hotel bill, I had exhausted all my money.The so-called agent I had been calling suddenly switched off his phone. It was one week to the expiration of my visa.
So I decided to step-out and find other Nigerians who could help me.I was unsuccessful as the two guys I knew way back in Nigeria were club bouncers and had no connections.Was shocked because they claimed to be big boys.

I was on my way back from one of my unsuccessful outings.I  was wondering what to do when a short Indian man intercepted me."Hello my friend  you looking for a job? I have a job for you.How will you like to earn 3 thousand dollars a month ? I was speechless"" He told me '"Lets go and have a drink and talk about it"
I was so happy..He took me to a spot not far from where we met.It was like a private house and I saw two other Black boys who the man introduced me to saying they were also beneficiaries of the job.I was just about to ask what the job was when a waiter brought me a drink and he told me to give him a minute to bring papers which would show me my job description.
I don't know what happened next .I found myself in an uncompleted building.I was confused at first and felt i was dreaming.But the cold was unbearable to be a mere dream and the sharp pain on the side of my belly was too intense to be real .I saw my shoes on the floor .I was confused. How did I get here? What about the job? Did I loose my chance by getting too drunk? Then I recalled I didn't drink alcohol.
I decided to put on my shoes when I noticed my legs were so swollen my shoes didn't size me anymore..

I left the place with no money in my pocket, didn't even know where I was.I tried to ask some Arabs to help but noone even listened to me. As I kept walking, I saw 2 security men and walked up to them.They were Nigerians and after telling them about my plight, they took pity on me and asked me to sleep in the factory where they worked for the night .They gave me some pain killers to relieve me.But advised me to go for a test the next day. The next day I told them I had no money to even go for a checkup and I was probably going to be deported as I had just one week for my visa to expire.
The elderly one told me there was a job opening as a life guard at some private beach. I couldn't be more grateful.
I took up the job but the reoccurring belly ache which I kept suppressing with pain killers was getting more intense.
Then after rescuing someone who almost drowned, the intense stress which accompanied that made me fall ill.And after several tests, they couldn't ascertain what was wrong with me.I had used up all the little money I earned from my job as a life guard and I had no option but to give myself up to the authorities so I could be deported since I couldn't pay for my flight ticket .
I returned to Nigeria seriously ill and my parents took me from one hospital to the other and they couldn't detect what was wrong with me.We went to several prayer houses even very popular miracle pastors who claimed it was evil people from my village chasing me.Destiny killers they said.I was ordered to fast for 21 days and four days later I collapsed .
Then my father ran into an old classmate who owned a hospital.He told him about my plight and he told my dad to bring me over.
He ordered a full scan to be run on me and while I was alone, he came to me and said" Young man, why did you have one of your kidney's removed?" I was shocked 'My Kidney? Sir I don't get". He smiled"At least if you want to have your kidney removed, do it well.You must have earned a few millions from it so what did you do with the money ? Why didn't you treat yourself properly?"""
I was confused and i insisted i knew nothing and he showed me the scan.Yes one kidney was missing.He also said the closure was perfectly done and skin was used to cover up the stitch.He said only Indians did such perfect cover-ups.After insisting there was a mistake somewhere ,the doctor said the fact was one of my kidneys was removed and he told me the dangers of selling my kidney which many Nigerian youths do these days to make quick cash
I was in tears and I told him I didn't know what he was talking about then I recalled the Indian man I met who told me he had a job for me .
It hit me that that man had me drugged and took me to an unknown place and had my kidney removed and then dumped me in that building.
Now I'm a 26 year old man who put my parents through hell and I'm now living on one kidney and very ill.I keep hoping this one doesn't develop a problem .I want youths to be careful of where they go to and who they interact with.I just found-out its a cartel and several African jobless youths have been trapped and have their kidneys removed without their knowledge ..
It's a wicked world..